that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize