I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
