We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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