ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
