hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
we're chasing vodka with high fives
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
