that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
