So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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