Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
