we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
