She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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