I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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