you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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