That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
