I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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