dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
