She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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