Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
her facebook's as public as her vagina
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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