what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
