Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
A+ Viking dick
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