You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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