he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Randomize
