you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
The air was thick with penises
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
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