Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i just made my gag reflex go away.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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