I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize