My pussy is not your playground.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
we're so committed to being not committed
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
