It's Friday. Sex?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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