if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Enjoy the penises
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
