In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
