She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
