My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
