I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I know her cup size but not her name....
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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