you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
