we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
