So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
