After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
