Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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