we're chasing vodka with high fives
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize