He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
