The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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