I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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