Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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