So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
