You work out of a Hotel?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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