we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
