You work out of a Hotel?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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