I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
