just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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