Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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