bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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