WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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