.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
