Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
