you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
