Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
