Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
