I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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